The Ultimate Bloody Mary
Hey hey! It’s Friday afternoon cocktail time!
I’ve decided one of the BEST things about having your own edible garden is the ability to make Bloody Marys at a moment’s notice, whenever the mood strikes. See, of all the things you could possibly grow in your garden, the Bloody Mary is composed of pretty much the hardiest, easiest, best veggies out there. If it’s summer, you can showcase your homegrown tomatoes (which will have an infinitely more delicious flavour than any shop bought tomato juice). You can grow a little patch of celery (it’s super tough!) in some sunny corner and just rrrrrrip out a bunch to use as swizzle sticks. Got some homegrown chillies? Chuck ‘em in! Citrus trees dripping with fruit? Excellent. A veggie patch full of garlic? Perfect! You’ll also need some parsley, and then everything else after that is just an intense delightful opportunity to show off. Pickle some cucumbers and plop them on top, perch a sprig of oregano jauntily on the edge of the glass. The options are endless and I promise you that picking something from your own garden (even if it’s just a lemon or a bunch of parsley), whizzing it up with vodka and tabasco and guzzling it down with a handful of ice is pretty much the best feeling out there. Convinced? I hope so!
This week, your song pairing is Burning Down the House by the Talking Heads. First, because I like it soooo much. Second, because a proper Bloody Mary should set your mouth partially on fire. Also because whenever I listen to this song it makes me feel like a real badass who should be wearing interesting sunglasses that totally occlude my eyeballs and bathe me in some kind of dark mystery. Like WHO KNOWS maybe I could set something on fire. A house even. Also because they play it at the end of a Handmaid’s Tale episode when June does something really angry and cool and if the Bloody Mary epitomises anything it’s being badass and fiery and angry and cool. Plus putting pickles in whatever you goddamn like. And drinking olive brine.
The Ultimate Bloody Mary
Makes 2 cocktails
Ingredients
1 cup of tomato juice (you can also use passata but it does make for a thicker Bloody Mary)
2 shots of vodka
Juice of 1 lemon
Juice of 1 lime
1 shot of pickle juice
1 Tbsp olive brine
1/2 tsp Tobasco
1/4 tsp soy sauce
1/4 tsp liquid smoke (you could also use a pinch of smoky paprika)
1 Tbsp fresh parsley, diced
1 tsp pepper
1/2 tsp salt
1 garlic clove, finely diced
To garnish
2 sticks of celery
Plus any of the following: Kalamata olives, pickled onions, cherry tomatoes, pickles, jalapeños, a few sprigs of parsley or oregano, a slice of cucumber)
Method
Make sure all your liquid ingredients are chilled before starting.
Put a handful of ice in a cocktail shaker (or a big jar with a lid). Add all the ingredients (except the garnish ingredients) and give everything a very good shake.
Pour into two tall cocktail glasses, add the garnishes, a sprinkling of cracked pepper and extra tobacco to taste.
